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How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

by Lenny Rachitsky

Lenny's Podcast: Product | Career | Growth

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Lenny's Podcast: Product | Career | Growth

This episode is titled:

How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

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Notable Quotes

"Etiquette is a skill for how to show up in a room with a low heart rate."
"You can be successful not knowing any of this, but you're making it harder for yourself."
"The goal of etiquette is to build trust and project genuine confidence."
"If your emoji is too specific, you're likely going out on a limb."
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Episode Summary

The episode delves deep into the realm of etiquette, particularly for founders navigating the competitive landscape of Silicon Valley. Sam Lessin, a partner at Slow Ventures, emphasizes that many young entrepreneurs often lack basic social skills due to their intense focus on product development. He advocates for the necessity of proper etiquette to instill trust and build relationships. Key themes include the importance of showing up early, maintaining a calm demeanor, and engaging genuinely in conversations.

Sam provides actionable advice covering various social situations—from introductions and small talk to dining and meeting etiquette. He highlights essential practices such as using eye contact, respecting others' time, and showing gratitude post-engagement. The conversation stresses the balance between being memorable in a good way without overwhelming others during interactions.

The episode also touches on the evolving nature of social norms influenced by technology and AI, suggesting that while these tools can be powerful, they cannot replace the value of authentic social skills. Sam's humor and engaging anecdotes contribute to making etiquette a relatable and enjoyable subject rather than a dry tome of rules.

Key Takeaways

  • The goal of etiquette is to foster trust and show confidence.
  • Engaging in meaningful conversations requires balance—ask questions but also share your thoughts.
  • Showing up early to meetings demonstrates respect and helps maintain a calm demeanor.
  • Simple practices such as proper introductions and small talk can significantly improve social interactions.

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