Revisited: Having a baby with your best mate

In this episode, journalist Nicola Slawson and her best friend Tom Hayes share their unconventional parenting journey as they co-parent their daughter, whom they had together by choice rather than through a romantic relationship. Nicola, who has been single for a decade, had always envisioned being a mom but found traditional paths complicated by her desire to avoid typical relationships. During the pandemic, after grappling with societal pressures and personal expectations, she explores solo motherhood but ultimately decides on platonic co-parenting with Tom, who genuinely wanted to be a dad.

Tom, a gay man and experienced caregiver for his disabled sister, was initially approached by Nicola while they were both searching for companionship outside of traditional dating norms. Their discussions about parenting evolved into a concrete plan when Nicola bravely asked Tom to co-parent with her during an event. Excited yet slightly apprehensive, they worked tirelessly together to figure out the details of shared parenthood, including time commitments, legal agreements, and arrangements for their child’s upbringing.

After deciding not to draw up legal contracts—trusting their communication skills and mutual respect—they began the journey of bringing their daughter into the world, experiencing challenges and joys unique to their arrangement. They realized they had a strong bond not just as co-parents, but as an unconventional family determined to provide love and support for their child. The episode explores how their platonic relationship offers a refreshing perspective on parenthood, challenging societal norms while highlighting that love can come in many forms.

Listeners are left inspired by the love, humor, and commitment that fill this unique partnership, showing that family can mean something different but still be profoundly fulfilling.