The men trying to do friendship, better – podcast

In this episode of 'Today in Focus,' host Helen Pidd speaks with Josh Halliday, The Guardian's North of England editor, about the evolving nature of male friendships. Josh reflects on his past experiences where friendships were primarily centered around drinking, banter, and football, lacking deeper emotional connections. He shares that over the years, he recognized a longing for more authentic relationships, which led him to reassess how he interacts with friends.

Josh recounts the emotional pattern of his friendship group, where drinking often culminated in tears and heavy conversations about personal issues. Gradually, he desires to change this dynamic, driven by the understanding that these surface-level interactions are unfulfilling. The conversation touches on the societal stigma around men discussing their emotions and the push for greater openness, which is echoed by Josh's personal growth and experiences, including going on a men's retreat where vulnerability was not just accepted but encouraged.

Alongside Josh, academic Thomas Yarrow introduces research indicating that not all men need to share their fears and feelings for friendships to be meaningful. His study suggests that many men might prefer camaraderie that centers around shared activities rather than deep emotional disclosures.

Their discussions highlight a shift in men's relationships and the importance of finding a balance between emotional vulnerability and maintaining the light-hearted nature of friendships. Josh shares practical steps he plans to take, like engaging in phone calls and participating in non-drinking social activities, to cultivate deeper connections with his friends while offering them a model of emotional openness for his daughters.

As the episode concludes, the narrative weaves together personal anecdotes and academic insights, inviting listeners to rethink the dynamics of male friendships in contemporary society.